辐射3机械管家的冷笑话

stanhjd

A neutron walks into a bar and says, "How much for a drink?" The bartender responds, "For you, no charge!"
一个中子走进一家酒吧，说：“来一杯多少钱？”酒保回答：“你免费（你没电荷）！”

Did you know that the best contraceptive for old people is nudity?
你知道吗？老人最好的避孕方式是***。（看看那些皱纹和下垂的OO和XX，你还有“兴”趣吗？）

I once visited a crematorium that gave discounts to burn victims.
我曾经参观了一个给烧伤死者打折的火葬场。

I was going to the clairvoyance meeting, but it was canceled due to unforeseen events.
我要去开一个预知未来的会议，但是它因为不可预知的事情取消了。（这个笑话与中国古代传说制作长生不老药的人老死了异曲同工。）

It is common knowledge that irradiated cats have 18 half-lives.
众所周知，辐射猫有18个半衰期。（猫有九命，辐射猫即18个半条命。）

Photons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
光子做弥撒（有质量）？我还不知道它们是天主教徒。

Two atoms were sitting at a bar. One says "I think I just lost an electron." The other asks "are you sure?" To which the first one replies "I'm positive."
两个原子坐在一间酒吧。一个说：“我想我刚才失去了一个电子。”另一个说：“你确定吗？”第一个回答：“我确定（我是阳性的，我带正电）。”

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does this taste funny to you?"
两个食尸鬼在吃一个小丑。一个对另一个说：“你说这味道可笑吗？”

War does not determine who's right, only who's left.
战争没有胜者，只有剩者。（胜者=正确的=右边，剩者=剩下的=左边）


总结：辐射3的冷笑话基本有两种类型。同词异义和异词近义。.

池塘裡的石頭

Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "does this taste funny to you?"
两个食尸鬼在吃一个小丑。一个对另一个说：“你说这味道可笑吗？”


funny lol

5524797

这个支持一下 谢谢分享

hctt

听不出来，感谢lz分享

拾你妹个慌啊

不错,不错,都很冷

valkyriemist

Two atoms were sitting at a bar. One says "I think I just lost an electron." The other asks "are you sure?" To which the first one replies "I'm positive."
两个原子坐在一间酒吧。一个说：“我想我刚才失去了一个电子。”另一个说：“你确定吗？”第一个回答：“我确定（我是阳性的，我带正电）。”

我记得好像在Ratchet and Clank: A Crack In Time里，那个clank的创造者Orvus 也讲过，好像是。。

youngsound

很标准的美式冷笑话！！！很好